People say the darndest things.

There's nothing better than laughing at someone when they've just said something ridiculously moronic. Well actually, maybe midgets; they really tickle me pink. Being surrounded by freshmen, I have had to laugh internally on many occasions.

Here is a sample of some of the conversations that I have had over the last week:

girl, on seeing my guitar: Hey, so do play guitar?
me: No, It's actually just for show.
her: oh...

What I really should have said was No, I actually only use to to appear cool and thus to lure girls into my sex den. After I lure them to said sex den, I tend to use duct tape to subdue them and then hide them in a closet for a week. After a week, they tend to smell so I throw them out.

In a similar vein, this conversation transpired with a girl on full academic scholarship.

Her: Wow, you guys have British accents. Are you from Britain?
me: No, actually I'm from the Sudan. Salaam aleikum

But my favourite exchange actually came from two of my English buddies. I will let them remain nameless to hide their shame.

Guy: It's funny that so many people speak Mexican around here.
me: Speak Mexican? Don't you mean Spanish?
girl: WHAT? They speak Spanish in Mexico?!

At that point, my palm hit my forehead with enough force to split the atom.


But I too have not been immune from the tomfoolery bug, as shown by what I wrote on somebody's white board down my corridor: